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So, today I want to talk about Energy- other people's energy. In particular the one maybe two person(s) energy that has the ability to affect yours the greatest. I know they come to mind instantaneously - yes, That person, most likely feels like the heaviest weight on your heart. Could be for the good, full of love, or more likely though the weight resembles a burden, a pinch in your stomach, or a tightness in the breaths you take. But you don’t dare say that out-loud because this would make it true, and you don’t want to hurt any feelings and you definitely don’t want to accept the fact that someone has such a reign over you and your emotional/physical/spiritual/etc. state. Well, you NEED to speak it out-loud because they might just be reigning and it might just be time to accept it so you can change it.
I’m reminded of that old nursery rhyme we’ve all sang “ rain rain go away, come again another day.” Except what if I don’t want the rain to come again another day. What if I want to be free of the torrential downpour and to live to see the sun. To feel the warm of it on my skin, to hear the birds singing happily and see the flowers blooming.
Though, just as much as you desperately seek shelter on high grounds from those rains that have turned into rivers, you have learned to swim so well in them and can effectively go about your life all while treading water. You feel almost empowered by your ability to handle such emotional turmoil ignoring the fact that it's drowning you. Harsh reality, but necessary truth.
You might be familiar with a term, "Energy Vampire(s)". This label, in the most pure essence, is such a great term for a person(s) who quite literally absorbs all of the energy out of you until you have nothing left, or maybe just enough to survive another day. In-fact, that's what they want, even if subconsciously. They want you alive, to continually keep feasting on the energy you willing bring back to them.
I have experienced several people throughout my life I would label as such; "Energy Vampires". These people are sly and slick and most times you will not recognize the toll they take on you until you've been so drained of life there is no other option but to see and separate yourself. Live or Die, Fight or Flight. This may sound overly dramatic but isn't that the life we lead? Our own dramatizations good enough for reality TV. I am kidding of course, and yet there is some truth to this also. But, without straying too far from today's posts -- Let's go back to the energy of it all.
We are all energy beings. We all vibrate at certain levels and frequencies and sometimes we find others that vibrate at the same levels we do - just perfectly. A match, A pair.
Than, there are others that are drawn to us for the difference of energy, for you exude the energy they crave to have, be around, experience. These are generally the "Vampires" The ones that can so effortlessly steal your energy as if their life is depending upon it, which isn't too far from the reality of it.
However, I want to be clear -- I am not condoning victimization in anyway. I do believe we all have the choice (once aware) to chose to move beyond and make the conscious decision to not have our precious energy stolen any longer. This can take time, perhaps life times (If you are a believer in that) to overcome. For life is a lesson, and this is just one of them. Again, before I go any further on possible other lives (re-incarnation) which is perhaps for another post I again will go back to the energy of it all.
These people that have such heavy affects on us in our current reality are generally someone who is close to us. Someone who you crave love and affection from. Not always though, as I've seen many situations in which the "Vampire"doesn't have a direct link to you emotionally, rather through a common social level of perhaps you wanting validation or acceptance - such as a boss, co-worker, teacher, or even a stranger at the grocery store. While, one could argue there is some bit of emotionality that goes into it you most likely aren't connected on a deeper level with these examples of people. Rather than it being an emotional connection it is more of the encounter that draws an emotional response. If that makes sense?.
You may be wondering how to identify someone who is an "Energy Vampire"
Though I do not have a degree or certification is "Energy Vampire Recognition", here are some of the "Red Flags" I have become aware of.
Guilt Tripping / or Pity-Partying e.g. Trying to make you feel sorry for them. (Someone who insists on making you feel guilty for things that are not your problem(s) or guilt tripping you if you don't want to deal with it/them.)
Only ever wants to talk about themselves, or only asks " How you're doing " to than revert the topic back to them.
Loves to talk about things that are sad, draining, unproductive, repetitive, e.g. past traumas they have experienced, other peoples problems.
Extreme mood swings, e.g. Will distance themselves from you when they're having a "high" from life and come back to you when they're on the "low" and ultimately need more of your energy to refuel.
Will go on benders of essentially (in my opinion) harass texting you all of their "negative" emotions while actively both asking for you to solve their problems and also not taking any of the logical, loving problem-solving advice you give to them. ( over and over again )
Anytime you try and stand up for yourself and tell them how it is and that you don't like how they are treating you or you feel like they are taking advantage of you, they lash out and and go off, perhaps even to the point of reverse psychology by saying things like "I am a horrible person, you don't need me in your life." or " I don't want to be alive anymore." All in the hopes that you will retract your original feelings i.e. standing up and protecting your own energy to cowering down and convincing yourself that it really isn't that bad, and that you're the one that is over reacting or you are actually the " Horrible Person. "
Narcissistic tendencies - Now, I honestly believe we all are slight narcissists. Especially in the times of social media. However, when I say " Narcissistic Tendencies " I am referring to the more extremest of these ; All about them, all the time. Only interested in what you're saying if it's about them or something someone said about them. Their needs / wants / desires/ are the only ones that matter. Or they only do something for you if also benefits them. (there are obviously many more examples, these are just a few.)
You feel tired and withdrawn from life everytime they're around or after spending time with them. Now this can also be disguised as a need for them in your life ( a false sense love, positive energy, truth ) . E.g. in extreme cases of " Energy Vampirism " they get you to the point that your life doesn't feel complete without them. That they are all that matters to you and your whole entire world is revolved around keeping them happy, or "satiated". For if they are upset, it ultimately translates into you being upset, or your life feeling chaotic (because they are your life). Simply put - If they are unhappy. You must be also.
Similarly, you are not allowed to be happy without them. If something good happens for you, and not to/for them. They will immediately go into guilt tripping you to feel sorry for them that those good things didn't or haven't happened to/for them, so you can't be happy because they aren't happy for themselves.
You desire their affection even at the cost of your own wellbeing- So much so that you are willing to hand over your life force to try and secure a piece of their heart, or an important place in their life.. ( Please be aware that when I say "affection" it doesn't necessarily mean romantically. It can be the affection of a parent, relative, friend etc.. ) Basically, you give them all the good you can muster to try and keep the situation / life on good terms because you know how painful it is to be around and unhappy / Unfed " Energy Vampire."
Now that you are perhaps a little more aware of these "Red Flags" you may be wondering how it is you can begin to separate yourself from these energies. Well firstly, I would not recommend trying to think you will change these type of people as it will ultimately take them seeing themselves for who they truly are and what they are doing to even begin the process of becoming a "better" being. Which from my experience will not happen (or at the very best be a life long journey of self-discovery for said person) as these types of people are very stuck in their behaviors/ways and do not see the problems they create for themselves and others. They play victim all while being the predator.
So, it is up to you to say "STOP STEALING MY ENERGY!" and " you no longer have access to my energy."or " My energy is secure and safe from all who wish me harm "
you say this to yourself, say it into the universe, or say in mentally. But it is not necessary for you to say these phrases to them. as it will likely do you no good. For some of the traits or " Red Flags " of these " Energy Vampire " is to reverse psychology you, Play victim, and guilt trip you out of standing up and protecting yourself from them. Like I said above, these people do not see themselves for who they are / how they behave so telling them to stop will not register in their minds. As to them, you are the problem because you are the one with the problem with them.
If you are highly sensitive or spiritual It might be helpful for you to put up an energetic force field or "bubble of protection" around you. Especially if you are in a situation with an "Energy Vampire" that you cannot physically remove yourself from yet. For most, this will take extreme focus and mind power to create this energy field of protection but it is possible and it will be worth it- for your energy is the core of who you are as this manifested human being within this manifested reality we call life and it {your energy} needs to be shielded from predators.
Some possibly effective (I say possibly because these solely depend on you, the individual) tips to get you started with your "Protection Bubble" or "Energy Forcefield"
It is essential to calm your mind. Be in the most relaxed state possible, this may sound over-played but try meditating. I personally like listening to Solfeggio Frequencies, even pure tone Delta waves to help calm the mind. If you find your mediation attempts to be easily broken try "grounding" which is essentially just walking barefoot on the ground ( dirt / grass / sand / etc.) Take baby steps ( no pun intended. haha ) towards being able to sit in one spot and letting the mind become absent of inner speculative dialog.
Keep a journal of your thoughts and feelings. This is good for self-validation and acceptance. Both for your feelings and how this other person makes you feel/truly is. It could be a good reminder to look back on in times of them trying to play the victim in their predatory games.
Have safe-space where you feel heard and understood. Or simply someplace you can feel at 'total' peace in. And visit there often! this can even be a dreamscape created in your own mind, A place of pure serenity you can go to anytime you're feeling overwhelmed or under attack from these "Energy Vampires".
Create the forcefield mentally. Arrange all the details to suit you best. imagine the way it looks, the way it feels, even the way It smells. Than slowly expand this protection bubble of energy around you, growing it larger to what you're sitting on, again even larger to envelop the entire room you reside in and so on.
Do your best to not REACT. For your reactions are apart of what keeps these "Energy Vampires" fed. You need to understand that any energy you give wether it be through voice, action, thought is a pure form energy that is leaving you and going to them. Be aware, be conscious, and stay vigilant with and what you put your energy towards.
Thank you for reading todays article. Please know that if you or someone you know is going through or has gone through life with an "energy Vampire that you/they are not alone, You/They are resourceful, strong, and powerful.
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